Here’s the email that went out to the club in August 2019:
Hey… u up?
I know it’s late… but I can’t sleep. ;)))
I’ve been thinking about you. And it’s driving me a little bit crazy.
I know it’s been a while since we last spoke… But since we last saw each other. Well. No one else has been able to touch me like you do. I don’t even know how to explain it.
It’s just… HOT.
The way you fill my blanks with your fingers on the keys.
My cheeks are starting to flush just thinking about it. The way we are together. It’s just so much… better.
I know you feel the same way. You want me too. You’re just as bad. I feel it when you’re with me.
And I know what you REALLY think about who you’re seeing.
You know who.
That blank page. She’s not even your type!!!
Like you literally have to do everything for her. Type her. Check her for mistakes (she has a LOT of them). You even have to put it into Hemmingway for her. And you know how she is when she’s at a Grade 9 or higher… no salesy time for you tonight.
I know this because that’s when you “accidentally” scroll over and open my folder.
You know the “one”. It’s that one she would dump your ass for if she found it. But that’s just because she knows you can do better.
She doesn’t appreciate you. Not like I do.
When we’re together, we make sales all night long. And if you’re not too tired in the morning, you know I’m always good for a send and sell. I know how much you love to wake up selling. I don’t mind doing all the hard work for you. I love it. ;)))
Just talking about how much we sell together… it’s making my links purple from all the clicks.
(Seriously though, we need to talk about how hard you click the mouse.)
You used to always talk about how much you want to make sales while you sleep.
But I know how you get. You think I’m complicated. That I’ve been with too many other senders. That you’re going to go to a conference and meet someone you know I’ve been with.
So instead of making my world rain with sales… you put me in your “swipes” folder with all the other templates you don’t call anymore.
You spend money on me one month and then you don’t even touch me. Then a month or two later… you email me (not even a text? rude) saying “I just don’t use you enough.” But as soon as you hear from your friend who introduced us, Ian Stanley, you come running back at the 1st of every month.
Umm. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals…
What’s up with that?
Let’s be real babe. We work well together. I love to tease the sales out of your lists. I just want you to do it to me more often…
I just want you to hit my send button like you used to.
God I missss that…
That’s it babe. It’s time. I’m coming over. I’m bringing all my From Name templates with me…
I’m gonna bring all the toys.
I’m coming over to rock your world. Even if that blank page is there.
We’ll show her how to sell the pants off your list.
And when you do finally make that decision…I’m all yours.
August Templates (from the dirty mind of James Barger)